Humor is the sole thing keeping us sane in a crazy world. Don't take everything I write seriously, I know I don't.
I'm a PhD student of Uppsala University, but this blog is my personal blog, and not in any way connected to the university.
Föreningen för Kvinnliga Forskare i Uppsala
The “dead horse” dakota wisdom…
I stole this from a colleagues facebook just because I liked it so much and thought id spread the amusement by sharing it.
Although… it’s a bitter-sweet amusement.
Dakota wisdom
I would add two more points before the final point – “Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.”
Any bells ringing?
Do you recognise the points above as well?
These last days I have been listening to audio-books while biking. One of them (my memory fails me) reminded me of the philosophical distinction made by Aristotle between Episteme and Techne (Επιστήμη and Τέχνη) or Science and Craft in plain english. Where Science is knowledge and craft instrumental how to.
Ever since I was reminded of that concept it’s been nagging in the edge of my mind… how we in modern natural science use the term science to describe the merger of the two. Theory and practical knowledge. The two complement each other… and the dichotomy is for me a fictive one, meant to illustrate – but it can be good to be aware of the strengths and weaknesses of the two sides. Especially in experimental science where a great lot of out knowledge is the result of painstaking trial and error.
As scientists (natural scientists, cause humanities often play by different rules) we like to pretend everything is straightforward, rigid and governed by the the theoretical framework of science. In the reality of the lab there is episteme – protocoll’s and theoretical knowledge, and there is techne – tweaking of protocols based on qualified guesses*, “muscle” memory of steps to be done, the feel of the work/samples etc.
*”qualified guess” just sounds more scientific than “gut feeling”.
…. …. …. ….
Today I finished in the lab too late to go home and put on make up etc for going out with the “girls”, but too early to go directly to the restaurant… so since 20 minutes definitely is not enough to start any serious (read scientific) writing… I opted for writing some of my thought here instead.
When you have a public email you often get scam- emails. Some days I wonder HOW stupid do they think the recipient is???
Like today… I got an email urging me to klick on a link to re-validate my email since my inbox exceeded it (yes “it” not “its”) storage limit…
The sender though? It’s a former colleague at KI! Why on earth would a colleague from Karolinska institutet have anything to do with an email at Uppsala university?
At least try and make it look like it comes from MY university… then were talking!
*shaking head laughingly*
Oh oh… they even have a copy-write notice… Copywrite 2012…
I guess I’m risking getting sued for posting online?
;-P
Goodmorning… with a smile and a song. 😉
These past days a dear friend has shared some words of wisdom worth noting down for future use…
Fast cars, fast food, fast life, fast women, fast men, fast work, fast love, fast everything…
Fast things can kill you or ‘’burn you down’’.
Life is not a race against time.
Time is our ally.
Take a step back, stay still, and watch things.
How they go and how they are being done.
Take your time to do something, and learn from it.
Then you will realize that there is enough time for everything if done properly.
—<–@ *.* @–>–
Can you actually imagine the difficulty, hardness, effort and trying that a child-baby has to go through firstly in order to be able stand up and secondly to make a few steps??
It’s the same thing with us adults and all our difficulties and problems in life. It takes time, effort and trying to work them out.
In times like those be a child-baby.
One step at a time.
Through a friend I was introduced to this particular scientists blog, High Heels in the Lab and the quote bellow really got to me (the colour highlights are my addition).
One of the things I’ve come to realise is that just loving science isn’t quite enough. You have to be prepared to feel stupid on a day-to-day basis. Because sometimes, that’s just science. Thanks to a great discussion I had recently with a guy who introduced himself as Bill** I have come to recognise that it’s not just me who feels stupid in science – in fact there are many arguments to be made that if you’ve stopped feeling stupid then you’ve stopped really doing science.
I never consciously thought about it… but seeing it written it rang so true. Feeling stupid is an important part of science.
You fail… you feel stupid. Feel annoyed, and sometimes even angry, by your “stupidity”.
Those feelings, coupled with an innate curiosity, are part of the fuel propelling forward to explore more. Ask even more questions. Forcing you to explore outside the box. Inventing new boxes when need be, or skipping them altogether…
Or maybe… Just maybe… I’m indulging in self-delusion… Justifying that I feel stupid so often when doing science. 😉
I’ve written before about grant applications, of courses and of long days in the lab. Nevertheless I have not touched the subject of the emotional rollercoaster involved in doing science.
Especially molecular biology.
So here comes:
You work hard, long hours. In some ways you work blindly. Relying on faith. Faith to the saneness of your protocols, until you reach the control point. Quite often its many hours, or even days of work until you can get some kind of verification on whether your labours were for nothing or not.
You go through the motions… reach the control point… stare hopefully at the plots and numbers showing up on the machine… Oh no!!! Damn it! Nothing!
”What did I do wrong?”
”Where could I have screwed up?”
”Assuming I did not screw up – what else could have gone wrong?”
Having answered all those questions you try again. Addressing as many variables that could have gone wrong.
Once again in front of the machine… hoping… dreading… ”DAMN IT! Nothing again” Disappointment washes over you.
”What didn’t i think of before?”
”What else could be the matter?”
You think. You ask around, the opinions of people more clever than you… seeing reasons and solutions.
”Well lets go again!” you think.
Albert Einstein’s quote ”Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” might pass through you mind but you ignore it. For your own sanity’s sake.
Deep breath, and lets start again. Changing more things. Addressing new variables that might affect your results. Step by step you follow through the motions again. You reach the control step. Heart beating… despairing and hopeful at the same time. Dare I look? Dare I not look at the plot forming in front of my eyes?
And this is the point where you start praying… as I wrote on Friday in my facebook status ”Praying to all possible deities, pagan pantheons and other gods alike… please work…. pleaaase work…”
The sigh of relief and the happy smile of seeing something resembling results on your plot makes you look like a lunatic. In that instant all the disappointment of all the previous failures vanishes and the world is good!
Reading the news today is overwhelming… Sometime later I will write about the latest changes in internal Greek politics that made the world banks shake. I promise…
But not tonight. Tonight i don’t want to think about petty politics, about local and world economy.
Nor is my mood drawn into a lengthy comment of DNs latest headline from my field “Sex med arkaiska manniskor vanligt” e.g. “Sex with archaic humans was common”, or as the more reasonable tittle of the local states “Humans bred with Archaic peoples: study“. For the interested ones the journal article it refers to is this one: Archaic human ancestry in East Asia, published in PNAS.
View of the Mirabello gulf
Tonight I long for Home. I long for the beauty, the soul of the place where I grew up. Cause Uppsala may be my home right now. The same way Stockholm was, or Athens/London/”place of your choice” could be, my home if I’d built my life there. Nevertheless Home is ,and will always be, the mountains of my home island.
When I think home… I smell thyme and sage and honeyweed. The heavier tang of pine and cedar mixed with a faint smell of dust. I hear the wind move the scrubs around me, and i feel its caress as I watch the sea deep below.
I think of roaring, magestic waves thundering down on the beach on an autumn stormy day. Salt assaulting my nostrils and the salt cedars creaking and moving on the beach around me.
I think of walking on “staircase” slopes filled with olive trees, and blackbirds singing.
Mountains and sea. Wild… untamed… that is the spirit of Crete.
As expressed perfectly by the music of this clip:
Quite often in live i find people around me to be like interconnected vessels where we’re supporting and inspiring each other.
Thus today I found myself directed to the page “Μείνετε πεινασμένοι” featuring the speech of Steve Jobs to Stanford graduates in 2005 by a friend. While reading it I was really hit by his final message: “Stay Hungry, Stay foolish”.
Earlier on he also reminds the students:
… the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.
Both those lessons are more than true for those of us who have ventured into science. I needed that reminder today…
So remember present and future PhD students:
– “Find what you love to do, Don’t settle.”
– “Stay Hungry, Stay foolish.”
I would personally also add:
– Stay passionate.
– Don’t be afraid of change nor failure.
There are 2 pictures that have been circulating on facebook recently, and a discussion today made me remember them.
Homosexuality and homophobia - natural vs unnatural
Why distinguish as "gay"?
The pictures speak for themselves…
And after all the talk about science… time to reflect once more on one of the things that makes life worth living. Friendship. I got inspired today by facebook. It has this “new” (for me since I’ve never noticed it before) feature where it shows your status updates from the past.
So today it showed that exactly one year ago I posted this quote:
Ο αληθινός φίλος είναι αυτός που διακρίνει τον πόνο στα μάτια σου όταν όλοι οι άλλοι πιστεύουν το χαμόγελό σου.
Translated:
“A true friend is the one who sees the pain in your eyes when all others believe your smile.”
Another friendship quote I also love:
There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one’s self, the very meaning of one’s soul.
~Edith Wharton
How boring and how empty wouldn’t life be without our friends? Without people to share your joy and sadness.
And friendship is not something static. Friends come and go… It may sound cruel but life weaves its winding path and some people walk the same path as us for the longest time. Some just cross for a short moment. How long they stay in our life’s is not always a measure of how much impact they’ve had in our life. Nor does how often you meet.
My days in Uppsala: 